Do You Want the Secret in Curing Fear and Creating Success?

In network marketing and in life we all experience fear (fear of failing, fear of losing, fear of not succeeding). It's what we do with it that allows us to succeed or fail.

Sometimes It Hurts to Fail

This excerpt is taken from the book Do It! Let's Get Off Our Buts by John-Roger & Peter McWilliams.

We all know what fear feels like. It is probably the most common limiting emotion--and, for many people, the most common emotion, period. As Shakespeare pointed out, we are often "distilled almost to jelly with the act of fear."

Not only do we fear new things, we also fell fear in addition to other negative emotions. We fell guil, and we're afraid to feel the guil. We feel pain, and we're afraid to feel the pain. Even when we feel fear, we're often afraid to feel the fear. (That's known as "worrying about your worries," "an anxiety attack," or "the screaming meemies.") Shakespeare, again: "Of all base passions, fear is the most accursed."

Because it's so common, fear has many other names: apprehension, misgiving, trepidation, dread, horror, phobia, terror, alarm, consternation, foreboding, qualm, suspicion, fret, uneasiness, distress, panic, etc., etc.

Someone once discribed FEAR in an acronym: False Expectations Appearing Real. For the most part, what we fear is not real-- it is merely our mind imagining something awful that has not yet happened. ("Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil," Aristotle said."

In network marketing, FEAR plays a major role. We all have different fears and most is of the unknown or what I like to term as the "What Ifs." "What if they say no," or "What if I fail," or "What if no one joins my group."

Fear creates stoppage. Fear creates 100% failure if allowed to overtake you. You are guranteed to fail if you don't do anything.

So how do you overcome FEAR?

You must realize that fear can never be eliminated from your life. It will always be your traveling companion so make the most of it. The presence of fear means that you are on the verge of learning/experiencing something new. Let me give you another example of why this important. Have you ever tasted something sweet? Of course you have, but how do you know it's sweet? Well that's because you have also tasted it's opposite--sour. In order for you to have success, you must also have the opportunity to fail. Everything must have an opposite in order to exist. So the presence of fear also means there is the presence of success. So let's look at the questions above again. "What if they say no?" What's the opposite? "What if they say YES!" "What if I fail?" to "What if I Succeed!" and "What if no one joins my group?" to "What if they do join my GROUP!"

Recognize the fear. You can never overcome, what you are refusing to see. That in itself may be enough to move forward.

As the Boy Scouts would say, "Always be prepared." Being prepared will always give you the upper hand.

Fear is always suppressed by ACTION! I learned this early on playing sports. Oh those butterflies before the big game, but once it started, I was fine. As Dr. Schwartz says in his book The Magic of Thinking Big, "Isolate your fear and then take constructive action. Inaction--doing nothing about the situation--strengthens fear and destroys confidence."

Here is a great clip from the movie Gladiator. Watch how being prepared and creating action overcomes fear. Can you see and feel the fear? I love this movie.

Gladiator- Prepardness plus Action cures FEAR

Often fear may be associated with being unclear. Take the time to clarify what it is you are trying to do. If it's a large task, try breaking it down to smaller chunks (remember the eating of the elephant).

Educate yourself. Often fear of the unknown is because you have chosen to not know it. This happens way to much in the MLM world. Just because you don't know it, doesn't mean it's not there. WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW CAN HURT YOU! If you are uncertain about something; that could be causing fear. Here's a great example. A big fear in network marketing is performing certain tasks to create income. Many don't even know what they should be doing to create income and even if they do know what to do, they don't know how much or how long to do it. The fear of failure has just been hightened because you don't even know what you have to do specifically to earn a specific amount of money. One of my favorite questions to ask is, "How many people do you need in your organization to make 10K a month RESIDUAL income?" Most don't know or don't want to know. Take out the thought of potential income and replace it with action income. What do you have to do to get results?

If this is something occuring in your life and you would like to change it then feel free to contact me. I would be more than happy to share with you what I've learned (and learning--it never stops). If you feel like it's time to take control or your destiny then take some action to change it NOW! or don't and let FEAR control you.

Wishing You Success,

Brendan Dalley

Mentoring For Free

Skype: brendan.dalley
Direct Phone: (435)229-2031
FaceBook: coachingforfree@gmail.com
Email: coachingforfree@gmail.com

Follow Your Bliss?

I like this quote from John Wooden on following your bliss.

I hear the saying, "Follow your bliss" now and then. It's probably good advice--unless you pick something that's not so good to be your bliss. I think Timothy Leary followed his bliss. You've got to be careful what your bliss is."

[For those of you who don't know Timothy Leary, he was a psychologist in the 60's who was an advocate in the use of LSD. He did a lot of drugs, fought with the law, spent time in prison, you get the picture.]

Back to the point of following your bliss. I believe Coach Wooden hits it right on the head. It's a good thing, unless it's the wrong bliss. So how does this apply to network marketing you ask? Well, I will tell you.

95% of you are following the wrong bliss. What?! That's crazy. Okay, let's get black and white here. How come is it that around 95% of people involved in network marketing fail? I don't believe all those people are stupid, so what gives?

Wrong bliss.

I believe the idea of network marketing is the "bliss" that everyone is striving for. The idea of residual income, more/unlimited time with family and friends, financial freedom, maybe it's just a few extra bucks. No one gets involved in an MLM with the idea that "hey, I'm going to spend my precious time and money and fall flat on my face."

Are you getting angry yet, or shutting down because the truth hurts? Stop! It's not your fault. You got lied to. Maybe not "intentionally," but nevertheless, you have been lied to. And for Heaven's sake, quite lying to others. Yes, I get the law of attraction and "speaking as if it is" with your income, but quite lying to others about your income levels. It doesn't matter how much you make. I've seen lots of people make money and not make money in the same business opportunity. So quit asking others how much they make and quit lying about how much you make.

Here's a real IMPORTANT aspect about following your bliss. JUST BECAUSE YOU GET ALL EXCITED ABOUT AN BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY, DOESN'T MAKE IT YOUR BLISS, and just because you like it, doesn't mean everyone else will like it. It's not what you want, it's what the people want. If you are letting your emotions make business decisions, then I have some ocean front property in Arizona to sell you (off some country song).

It's great to be excited, but just get educated. Ask better questions. How many people do you need to make 10K a month residual income? Residual is the key word there. Seems like everyone has upfront bonuses, but can you actually walk away and make 10K a month? Be careful though, most don't know the answer to that question. Also, have you read and UNDERSTAND your policies and procedures? Here's a great link to an audio that talks about this. Don't worry it doesn't promote any products or companies.

http://tinyurl.com/68ebzh

So follow your bliss, but make sure you are educated first. Remember, you are now in the people business. Everyone has some kind of great product or service. I don't care what that product or service is. What's the real bliss behind it? Again, just because Mr. Billy BigGuns is making a million, doesn't mean you will. There's a real good chance he didn't make it the way he says he did. Remember, "kind of true" is like being "kind of pregnant." Get the truth about MLM and success will follow.

Wishing you a "Blissful" life,

Brendan Dalley
Mentoring For Free
(435) 229-2031 ANYTIME
coachdalley@gmail.com
http://www.Free-MLMtraining.com

Eight Suggestions for Succeeding in Network Marketing

Here are Eight Suggestions for Succeeding. This was taken from the book "Wooden." It has direct application to success in the network marketing world. I have added comments to each suggestion to better serve you. Enjoy.



1. Fear no opponent. Respect every opponent. (Fear only creates lack. Respect and learn from others. There is more than enough to go around.)



2. Remember, it's the perfection of the smallest details that make big things happen. (I believe it is easier to work on the big things than the little "pain in the rear" things, but how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.)



3. Keep in mind that hustle makes up for many a mistake. (We all make mistakes; that's just human nature, but pick yourself up and get going and do your best to right what was wrong.)



4. Be more interested in character than reputation. (Love this one. Character is doing what is right while reputation is what others think of you. If you are doing what is right, you may at times be standing alone. Adherence to correct principles will always bring success.)



5. Be quick, but don't hurry. (Being quick takes conscious thought while hurrying takes no thought.)



6. Understand that the harder you work, the more luck you will have. (Another favorite. Get out of the "Quick Rich" mentality. If you are in a no work, overnight success business, you are in a scam. Here's a hint for you-Your target market is anyone on the welfare system. Ouch, I just said that.)



7. Know that valid self-analysis is crucial for improvement. (Don't fool yourself in thinking you are better than you are but on the same hand don't beat yourself up. Just get better. GET A MENTOR!)



8. Remember that there is no substitute for hard work and careful planning. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. (Need I say more?)



You really don't need to struggle in network marketing. There are so many tools and resources out there. The hardest part is trying to decipher which ones are worth your while. This much I do know, there is a ton of useful training out there for free. Quit spending your money on useless tools that are promoting other products. Go be of service to others and find out how successful people are made. Check out Leadership For A Change at http://ping.fm/bFDCW for more helpful resources. Find a mentor, find a coach, find success. Lead On!

Network Marketing Prospects

Just set up my free account at TRAFFIC DIGGER. Check it out at http://ping.fm/2NNXj

How to Succeed in Network Marketing

Thought for the day: Persistence is stronger than failure. As Joe Dirt would say, "I need to keep on keep'n on."

MLM Marketing Tools

Just posted "Ways to Win Friends (and Build a downline that lasts)" at http://ping.fm/bFDCW

Six Ways to Win Friends (and Build a downline that LASTS)

This is taken from the book "The Magic of Thinking Big." It applies directly to leadership and network marketing. Here are six ways to win friends by exercising just a little initiative:

1. Introduce yourself to others at every possible opportunity---at parties, meetings, on airplanes, at work, everywhere. [The key here is not to push a business opportunity. In fact, don't even talk about it, unless you like be shunned. Be genuinely interested in them. LISTEN-LISTEN-LISTEN]

2. Be sure the other person gets your name straight. [I always get called Brandon. My name is Brendan]

3. Be sure you can pronounce the other person's name the way he pronounces it. [Repeat it to yourself 7 times]

4. Write down the other person's name, and be mighty sure you have it spelled correctly; people have a fetish about the correct spelling of their own names! If possible, get his address and phone number, also. [I would at something positive that stood out to you and bring that up next time you speak with them.]

5. Drop a personal note or make a phone call to the new friends you feel you want to know better. This is an important point. Most successful people follow through on new friends with a letter or a phone call. [With the internet and technology our outreach of friends is growing. Check out Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, Twitter, Bebo, Zenn Zuu, Tagged, etc. I'm on all of them and have developed some great friends of which most I have never met face to face.]

6. And last but not least, say pleasant things to strangers. It warms you up and gets you ready for the task ahead. [What goes around comes around. Your thoughts will lead to better actions. Go and read chapter 13 in the book Think and Grow Rich.]

Remember the key to building a business is not having the best product. Most companies have a great product. Great products don't equal great companies. This is a business of PEOPLE. Serve others and you will gain the greatest reward. Be a friend, be a mentor, be a leader, and be successful.

My favorite question to ask is, "What can I do to help YOU today?" If I help you become successful, somehow I am more successful. My 5 Pillar company grows and there's a good chance it won't include you. It's amazing how it always works out.

"Be a Mentor with a Servants Heart"

Lead On,
Brendan Dalley
Mentoring For Free
(435) 229-2031 ANYTIME

Train Your MLM “Coaching Eye”

When you’re networking, it’s important to see the picture from the other person’s viewpoint. If that person is to achieve their dreams, if they are to become a more effective networker themselves, then you need to help them get better … but don’t kill them in the process.

There are a lot of ways to skin a cat. Even though somebody else takes a totally different approach from yours, it may well be just as effective … or more so. You certainly want to encourage that.

On the other hand, it may not work at all. THEN what do you do? It’s important to get them going on the right track, but you can’t publicly embarrass them or put them down. That discourages them. So you must be able to see the situation through the other person’s eyes. You want them to see you as a coach they can learn from. Talk about what they are doing right, as well as what improvements they can make.

You’ve got to do 2 things at the same time - move the person off their “failure-path” AND build them up, so they can feel the joy and the belief. If a person has no belief and confidence, it doesn’t much matter what path they are on. They aren’t going anywhere. So when you coach a person, you must walk that fine line of BOTH bolstering their confidence AND changing their direction. It’s not easy. But that’s why network marketing pays so well.

------Free e-book on MLM Success------

Does It Have To Be Your Way Or The Highway?

We all have moments when our thinking is … well … suspect. You have a lot of confidence that your thinking is right. But on the other hand … maybe it isn’t. How do you tell the difference? Here’s an idea that has helped me in both personal relationships and in my MLM business, and maybe it will help you.

Ask yourself, “What is behind this line of thinking?” At times, you will discover a very stubborn opinion that may have originated in a single long-ago incident. Something like:

“It’s my way or the highway.”
“Prospects just don’t listen.”
“Women can’t stick to a budget.”
“Men are bull-headed.”
“Kids can’t be trusted.”

Obviously, the list could go on forever. Probably, no thought on this list rings true for you. But we all have similar types of stubborn ideas that have hung around forever, and which sabotage relationships and our MLM business-building today. The trick is to recognize and get rid of them. Can you think right now of 2 or 3 of those recurring, age-old thoughts that have dictated how you live your life?

You can certainly improve your results by gaining new skills and by adding new, achievement-oriented thinking in your life. But you can also improve your results by recognizing faulty thinking or misdirected actions … and then get rid of them. As you do, people will notice that you have become wiser and gentler, and it will be much easier for you to build the relationships that build your network marketing business.

The Strangest MLM Secret

Back in the 1950s, the radio commentator Earl Nightingale did a daily radio commentary. One of his presentations in particular was re-played and re-played, ultimately reaching an audience of millions of people … very unusual for that day and age.

The title of that commentary was, “The Strangest Secret.” And the “strangest secret” is, you become what you think about most of the time.

Most people can look at that thought today and say, “Well, sure, that’s pretty obvious.” And yet … so many of us still think of ourselves on a daily basis as very limited people, and we actually talk our limitations into existence.

An old saying goes, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” Here’s the thing. If you think you can’t do it, if you think you aren’t worthy, if you think you can’t ever change, if you think you are always destined to be a loser, then … your mind figures, “Why even try? I can’t do it. I know that. So why even try?”

And even if you make an effort, it’s just for show. You do just enough to say, “Well, I tried.” And then you can comfortably fail again, just like you knew you would.

Success and achievement require a real effort. That will not happen if your mind is repeating, “I can’t do it.”

The only way to change that is to constantly be on the lookout. Listen for that little voice that says. “I can’t.” Anytime you hear it, just say, “That’s stupid. I’m a different person than I was last time. This is a whole different circumstance. Let’s just do it!”

When you clear your mind of the trash, you are much closer to success.

Your friends for life!

Brendan & Genevieve Dalley
1-435-229-2031 Call anytime!
“Be a mentor with a servant’s heart”
Success In 10 Steps

Being Hone-able: A Foundational Quality in Network Marketing

Too many people in this industry feel they know it all or they are not open for any kind of new learning or feedback. One mistake I learned and see all the time is when someone joins a network marketing company they are taught to only listen to their upline or company leaders. To a point this is a good thing because it allows them to be taught their system and how it works, but where do you think your leaders and upline are getting their information? They are learning, reading, and asking questions. Deepak Chopra said to question dogma. This is not a bad thing. If one does not question, one does not learn and progress. You must question to grow, but be careful you are not questioning to stop growth.

A foundational quality of a leader is to be hone-able (coachable). The definition of hone is "to sharpen or smooth with a whetstone or to make more acute, intense, or effective." In other words, it is to have an attitude that allows intensifying and sharpening.

An applicable saying is, "You don't know what you don't know." Additionally, what we do know we gradually forget. So if we don't know what we don't know, and we're forgetting what we do know, it would probably be a good idea to continue learning. That way we would at least know something!

The great Socrates stated that if he was the wisest in Athens it could only be because he alone assumed he didn't have all the answers. The point is that when it comes to learning, one should never assume he or she has arrived. For a leader there is no completion to education. One should live like they will die tomorrow and learn like they will live forever. When a leader remains teachable, his or her potential is limitless.

So how much do you really know? Or better stated, are you ready to learn?

Visit: http://www.Free-MLMtraining.com for your free ebook.

The Strangest Secret

Please enjoy the excerpt from The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale George Bernard Shaw said,

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get what they want in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, they make them."

Well, it's pretty apparent, isn't it? And every person who discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.

Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must there fore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety and worry - his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry.

And if he thinks about nothing... he becomes nothing.

How does it work?Why do we become what we think about?
Well, I'll tell you how it works, as far as we know.
To do this, I want to tell you about a situation that parallels the human mind.

Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care.

It's up to the farmer to make the decision.

We're comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant.

Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his
hand- one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds-one corn, the other night shade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land...and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.

As it's written in the Bible, "As ye sow, so shall ye reap."

Remember the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants - one corn, one poison.

The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way.
It doesn't care what we plant...success...or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal, or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on. But what we plant it must return to us.

You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.....

Stupid People

Here is another reason to become financially free. Money cures stupidity. Now I’m not talking about you getting cured, because if you are still stupid at this point in your life……well good luck. What I’m talking about are the stupid people all around us. If you are smart enough to become financially free, and it does take smarts, then you have the opportunity to help cure the stupid people surrounding you. They really need your help and because you are smart enough and have the financial means you are in the best position. Here are some antidotes that will assist you:

Antidote 1: Freedom- One cannot truly be free if they are trading “man hours” for money; one must have a system that leverages knowledge, money, and other resources to take back what is rightfully yours; time. Don’t fool yourself with your made up belief system that you are just fine with where you are at. I have yet to find anyone that loves to go to work every day. Granted you may have a job that is fulfilling, but do you really get to make all the choices in your life? Imagine what it would be like to be free from creditors, free from a boss, free from a job, free to do what you want to do, free to make a massive difference in this world and with your family. If this is more a fairy tale than a reality, you had better keep reading and plug into different thinking. A dream becomes reality when driven by desire, good input, and good output.

Antidote 2: Time- I read a poll lately that stated if you were to die in 30 days, what would be your number one priority? The overwhelming response was to spend more time with family. True financial freedom creates time. Hard work day in and day out does not create more time. A lawyer may make more money through experience and knowledge, but if they don’t work, they don’t get paid. Could you imagine what it would be like to have a lawyer who so loved their job and doing what is best for you that they didn’t have to charge you because they were already financially free? They were in the capacity to serve (see next antidote) and make a difference. Some of you may be saying that’s not the real world, and I respond to you with, good, I don’t want to be part of the “real” world. I want to be a part of something better. I will be so bold to say that a majority of stupid people live in the real world.

Antidote 3: Service- Building upon freedom and time, one creates the possibility to serve in a much larger capacity. Opportunities for service to others are limitless, but how wonderful would it be to enhance that opportunity. President Thomas S. Monson said, “Serve willingly. You are a mighty force for good, one of the most powerful in the entire world. Your influence ranges far beyond yourself and your home and touches others all around the globe. You have reached out to your brothers and sisters across streets, across cities, across nations, across continents, across oceans……You are, of course, surrounded by opportunities for service. No doubt at times you recognize so many such opportunities that you may feel somewhat overwhelmed. Where do you begin? How can you do it all? How do you choose, from all the needs you observe, where and how to serve? Often small acts of service are all that is required to lift and bless another: a question concerning a person’s family, quick words of encouragement, a sincere compliment, a small note of thanks, a brief telephone call. If we are observant and aware, and if we act on the promptings which come to us, we can accomplish much good. Sometimes, of course, more is needed (bold and italics added).“ More time and freedom creates the ability to make up the difference. By serving others, we can assist those to become smarter, not stupid. Service creates positive change.

On a final note:

I spoke to a friend of mine who is a therapist and we where discussing certain “stupid” people we are both experiencing in our lives (and what sparked this blog). The question was brought up if they were ever going to “get it” and what type of intervention would be needed. It has been hard to watch as they self destruct and hurt the ones we love, especially when some of those ones are not old enough to comprehend what is going on. From a therapeutic viewpoint, there is classic “projection” and “transference” (ask a therapist what those are) and it is the young ones who suffer. It is a painful experience and both my wife and I have shed many tears of sorrow and frustration over it. Unfortunately many of the laws set up to protect stupid individuals also harm the innocent. Money, freedom, time, and service are the greatest interventions. Natural consequences can be sped up through using the talents of others and that may take money. Because of the freedom you experience, you may be called to give more of your time and you may be placed in a greater role to serve. Making a massive difference may not fall into your old patterns of thinking, but it will be the only way to make a lasting impact.

You Are What You Think You Are

Here is an excerpt from the book "The Magic of Thinking Big" by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. I highly recommend you read this book if you haven't done so, and if you have read it, read it again. I can't stress enough that in order for one to achieve success (personally defined), one must read good books and do something with it. Get some results, get better results, make a difference. Lead On-Brendan

It's obvious. Much human behavior is puzzling. Have you ever wondered why a salesperson will greet one customer with an alert "Yes sir, may I serve you?" but virtually ignore another? Or why a man will open a door for one woman but not for another? Or why an employee will consistently carry out the instructions of one superior but only grudgingly do what another superior requests? Or why we will pay close attention to what one person says but not to another?

Look around you. You’ll observe some people receiving the “Hey, Mac” or “Hey, buddy” treatment while others receive the sincere and important “Yes, sir” treatment. Watch. You’ll observe that some people command confidence, loyalty, and admiration while others do not.

Look closer still, and you’ll also observe that those persons who command the most respect are also the most successful.

What is the explanation? It can be distilled into on word: THINKING. Thinking does make it so. Others see in us what we see in ourselves. We receive the kind of treatment we think we deserve.

Thinking dies make it so. The fellow who thinks he is inferior, regardless of what his real qualifications may be, is inferior. For thinking regulates actions. If a man feels inferior, he acts that way, and no veneer of cover-up or bluff will hid this basic feeling for long. The person who feels he isn’t important, isn’t.

On the other side, a fellow who really thinks he is equal to the task, is.

To be important, we must think we are important, really think so; then others will think so too. Here again is the logic:

How you think determines how you act.
How you act in turn determines;
How others react to you.

Like other phases of your personal program for success, winning respect is fundamentally simple. To gain the respect of others, you must first think you deserve respect. And the more respect you have for yourself, the more respect others will have for you. Test this principle. Do you have much respect for the fellow on skid row? Of course not. Why? Because the poor fellow doesn’t respect himself. He’s letting himself rot away from lack of self-respect.

Self-respect shows through in everything we do. Let’s focus our attention now on some of the specific ways we can increase self-respect and thereby earn more respect from others.

1. Look important; it helps you think important. Your appearance talks to you. Be sure it lifts your spirits and builds your confidence. Your appearance talks to others. Make certain it says, “Here is an important person: intelligent, prosperous, and dependable.

2. Think your work is important. Think this way, and you will receive mental signals on how to do your fob better. Think your work is important, and your subordinates will think their work is important.

3. Give yourself a pep talk several times daily. Build a “sell-yourself-to-yourself” commercial. Remind yourself at every opportunity that you’re a first-class person.

4. In all of life’s situations, ask yourself, “Is this the way an important person thinks? Then obey the answer.

Video on the Process of Resistance

GET RESULTS; NOT THE PROCESS OF RESULTS

I had an interesting phone call today. I was talking to a program that was funded through the state to work with small business owners in assisting them with their business plans and progressing forward (a majority of entrepreneurs fail in the first five years). I offered my services as a Leadership Service Provider but she quickly declined my offer stating that leadership was a broad topic and they really don't do motivational work. I worked at explaining how leadership will benefit their program but I could tell the gal on the other end just wasn't listening. I felt saddened, not because of the rejection of my invitation, but because I knew what she didn't know. I wanted to ask her if she was happy in what she was doing. Was she living her ideal lifestyle? Had she designed her life or did life design her? How's that life of trading time for money going? It's ironic to have someone teaching how to be successful in business when they are not living a successful life. Now hold on I'm not judging here (well kind of, but everything is a judgment) I'm just playing the percentages. Ninety-five percent of the information that we know comes from the 95% of the people who aren't truly free (see Robert Kiyosaki's book The Cash Flow Quadrant). When I refer to freedom, I mean the freedom to make choices that don't fall in the win/lose category. For example. I have freedom to spend my money how I please but if I decide not to pay my car payment then I will get my car repossessed (Win because I spend on what I want but lose in fulfilling a debt obligation). Being in debt eliminates true freedom. Do any of you ever experience too much month at the end of your money? Have you ever known a professor teaching a finance class and is consumed by credit card, house, and car debt. Being in the education world I saw many examples of not living by the standards being taught. I had a PE teacher in college and she weighed over 300 lbs and was maybe 5'5" tall. I once saw a mother cuss out her child for swearing once. Just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Do as I say, not as I do. That's really going to work. I'm not preaching perfection here but action does speak louder than words. What I'm saying is move forward and get some results. Quit being in the the process of getting better. Do something different. Read a book (I have many suggestions if you need one). Change your thinking and change your outcome. You want a better lifestyle than become a Leader.
I leave you with a quote from Lance Secretan, it states: "Leadership is not so much about technique and methods as it is about opening the heart. Leadership is about inspiration--of oneself and others. Great leadership is about human experiences, not processes."

Lead on, Brendan

The Waiting Place

I had an interesting experience today. Actually everyday is an interesting experience, especially being divorced, re-married, ex-spouses, blended family, etc. So I called my ex today and she asked me if I was happy. "Yes", I explained, "why wouldn't I be?" Well my kids had told her that I was sleeping on the couch the other night. What she didn't realize is the youngest child of my wife's was very sick and kept waking up, so it only made sense to move her in and let me sleep in peace on the coach (which is very comfortable by the way). My ex kept asking, "Are you sure you're happy?" Again my answer being yes. Then she asked me why I was happy. I could of gone on for hours on this answer, but I summed it up for her by saying that now I have someone that supports me in all that I do as I do her, we have the same goals, vision, and morals. (We love each other unconditionally-afterthought). She (the ex) just gave one of those hmmphs and said the one thing that sparked this post. "Don't you think you should of waited?" (referring to being remarried). "Waited for what?"

Leadership and Waiting

Waiting, waiting for what? I would like to quote Dr. Seuss in his famous book, Oh, The Places You'll Go.

"Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting."

Waiting is just so passive, no real action is required. I will be so bold as to say that too many people are in that waiting place. I see it all the time when it comes to financial decisions. I hear things like, "I'll wait till the market gets better," or "I'll wait to start that venture when I get some more time." Even when someone musters up that courage to do something to get them closer to their goals they stop and wait for something good to happen. The fact is, most entrepreneurs fail their first go around and much of that would be contributed to waiting for the "right things" to happen. Leaders do not wait around to let life happen to them. Life is going to happen, change is inevitable, but growth and improvement are optional. Leaders take action, have courage, and are constantly learning and growing. It has been said that leaders are readers, but not all readers are leaders. Leadership involves a proactive mindset; an ability to realize and make a choice with consequences. I worked for a guy one time that could not make a decision, but loved to criticize anyone who did make a decision. Finally one day, his brother blew up at him and stated in a colorful language that at least he could make a decision, even if it didn't work out. The fact of the matter is, we are always making choices, even when we don't make choices (we chose not to make a choice). Many are unaware that they have a choice or even made a choice (by not choosing) and feel stuck and hopeless. Where does this show up in your own life? What do you really want out of life? How are you getting there and is it really working? Are you waiting or moving? Does this scare you; the unknown? Well there is a 100% chance that you won't go anywhere if you don't move. You will stumble, you will fall, and you will get back up. To finish up with some more of Dr. Seuss and Oh, The Places You"ll Go:

" Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV."

Lead On,
Brendan Dalley

Welcome my sheep and sheepdogs

I love this story and I believe it sets a good tone for Leadership. A good friend once told me that there are two choices a person has; to grow or to die. This is a law of nature; nothing is stagnant. A tree, blade of grass, flower, is either growing or it's dying and so are we. So now it's time to grow. Remember change is inevitable, but improvement is optional. As you read this, be aware of the emotions that it may trigger inside you. Does it inspire you in any way to grow? Enjoy and lead on, Brendan

Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always,even death itself. The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for? - William J. Bennett - in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997

One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me:

"Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident." This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another. Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin's egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers, and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful.? For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

"Then there are the wolves," the old war veteran said, "and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy." Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

"Then there are sheepdogs," he went on, "and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf."

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed

Let me expand on this old soldier's excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial, that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids' schools.

But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid's school. Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep's only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheep dog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn't tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, "Baa."

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door.

Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

There is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population. There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I'm proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, "Let's roll," which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers - athletes, business people and parents. -- from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men. - Edmund Burke

Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn't have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.

If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior's path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.